While paging through an odd little South African newspaper on a plane, I found this random tidbit of rather amusing news. It seems that Mircea Pavel, a Romanian man serving a 20-year prison sentence for murder, attempted to sue God for failing to answer his prayers. “The defendent, God, who lives in the heavens and is represented in Romania by the Orthodox Church,” was charged with fraud and “betrayal of trust”. Move over, Job.

In an interview with the Romanian newspaper Evenimentul Zilei, Pavel elaborated on the complaint. “At my christening,” he explained, “I made a deal with the defendant aimed at freeing me from evil. But the latter has not respected that agreement until now, although He received from me various assets and numerous prayers.”

The really amazing thing is that Pavel was actually permitted to submit his case, though it was ultimately dismissed by the court in Timisoara, Romania. “God is not subject to law,” the ruling stated, “and does not have an address.”

Well, good for the Romanian court for recognizing its proper limitations! But I find it amusing to speculate on what kind of damages the convict might have been awarded if they had decided to hear the case. A free ride to heaven? Or would simple absolution be sufficient? Or would they want God to compensate the plaintiff monetarily? It’s well known that juries tend to assign exorbitantly high damages when the plaintiff is a poor individual and the defendant a large corporation of seemingly limitless resources. Just imagine the possibilities in this case!

In fact, I’m so tickled by this case that I think someone should fabricate a story about an American court actually ordering God to pay damages to some of his underappreciated faithful. The beautiful part would be that, if the Europeans got their hands on a story like that, they’d believe it in a heartbeat.